Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I love you. Go after that dick
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
