I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
