i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize