She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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