The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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