she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize