And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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