my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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