The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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