I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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