these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
