either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
