is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
