Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
