At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
