I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
