I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
