It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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