She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
