I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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