did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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