Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
third nipple confirmed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
