I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
