WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
