What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
