You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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