All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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