home. puking in laundry basket.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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