D3 body, D1 cock
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
