I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
