Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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