I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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