my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
