I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
