Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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