Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
