I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
