We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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