I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
