you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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