part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
