Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I AM VODKA MAN
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize