Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
