Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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