I'm so fucking centered right now
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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