could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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