never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
