Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
