I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
