the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
