Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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