i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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