Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
operation have a gay friend backfired
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
