I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
