Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
