you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
