Your face is a jimmy john
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
