He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize