i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
