I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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