You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
