He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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