some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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