does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
